X-Men Origins: Wolverine : #FNEmoviemonth (4 of 30)



Hugh Jackman is awesome.


This movie? Not so much.


It’s day four of my FNE Movie Month and I am continuing in my X-Men catch up by watching X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Much like the Night Chronicles, I fear that X-Men Origins might’ve been a planned series that never went anywhere.


In 2005 I went to the first annual JawsFest in Martha’s Vineyard. I’m pretty sure there wasn’t a “second annual” but I guess they did do another one in 2012.


Back in 1997, my now wife and went to a first annual rock/ska concert with the Mighty Mighty Bosstones with The Offspring, L7, Bim Skala Bim and Tree. Pretty sure there wasn’t a second annual.


What’s my point? I guess I’m just avoiding talking about this movie…


No really, my point is - sometimes you plan for something to be the beginning of something bigger when really, it’s turns out to just be the entirety of that thing.


For the “X-Men: Origins” brand, I am pretty sure this is the only movie we are going to get - and if they were all going to be up to this level, I think I am okay with that.


Two things bothered me with this movie. Well, more than two things. But let me mention these two first.


The first one was when Logan looked at his adamantium claws in the bathroom of the old couple’s house. To me, and maybe this was just on my iPad screen - they looked like cartoon drawings. Nine years after the first X-Men and I thought this effect looked horrible.


And as an aside to that - Logan’s claws are bone to start. Then the adamantium is added to his skeleton. Is it coating it or replacing it over? I guess my question is - why did those adamantium covered bone claws become perfectly smooth, sharp blades?


Why does this bother me? Go with it Mike, c’mon.


Okay, that I can forgive, but my brain still was bothered by it. The big thing that bothered me was - what the hell year was it?


I loved the beginning credits that showed Wolverine and his brother going through time and fighting in all those wars. I assume he left them sometime around the end of the Vietnam War, right? Six years pass, and our story picks up. So I am guessing we are probably in the beginning of the 1980s. But nothing, not the technology or the set pieces, nothing people wore - nothing made me feel like we were in that era.


I’m surprised nobody took an iPhone out….


That bothered me probably the most. The overall story wasn’t too bad, but the execution and the actual narrative felt like it was just placing things in order so 5 follows 4, which followed 3, 2, and 1, but how or why those things happened seemed lost on me.


Plus I expected Ryan Reynolds to be in the movie for more than 90 seconds…I know it was more than that, but not much more.


Not that I’m complaining - but he’s on the poster and the nurse who worked in the lab had more screen time.


I like how they erased his memories at the end so even he could forget about this movie…And really he can go on to future X-Men adventures without any knowledge of his past getting in the way. And without knowing his name is Jimmy.


Jimmy.


But really - the guy knew for a fact that an adamantium bullet to the head would make him lose his memories but cause no other damage??? Did he test these on little wolverine mice? I would’ve much rather he just shot him - thought he killed him - but then we find out that he’s lost his memories. So much better….Nope, this dude knows the science behind the bullet to a brain. He’s that good.


Not a great movie. Actually, not a good movie. But again - Hugh Jackman is still pretty bad ass and he is just born to play this character.


And next time I go down the X-Men road, it will be with a little more…Class.


4 down. 26 to go!


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