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I'm Sorry, I Know it's Been a While, But This Has to Be Said - True Blood Sucked This Season!

I know it’s well been over a month since the finale, but I had family visiting from Florida recently and we got to talking about True Blood - and I realized the more that we talked about it - the more I thought that this third season of True Blood totally sucked. Allow me to explain



Lafayette Is Dating a Man-Witch


Whether he’s a V dealing prostitue or a red-neck beating cook, Nelsan Ellis takes command of every scene he’s in as Lafayette - one of my favorite characters on this show. But this year they gave him an extremely weak story that didn’t have much to do with the main storyline - he’s dating a male nurse who is - surprise - also a witch!


There was a strange V induced vision moment that was supposed to be trippy and spooky - but to me just came off dumb.


Why can’t Lafayette just have some normal dude to date? True Blood seems to be falling into the same trap that Heroes did - everybody is special, has powers, or is supernatural. I know this show is based on a book series so it’s staying true to its source material - but sometimes these things don’t work so well for television.


Jason is Dating a Were-Panther and Now is the Caretaker of Her Inbred Family and He is Jealous of the Current High School Quarterback



I’m sorry - but I had to put all that into the headline, because along with Lafayette, Jason Stackhouse is another one of my favorite characters - and this year they have him falling in love with a girl whose family is a bunch of redneck inbred meth dealers that - suprise again - are frigging were-panthers (see above for my thoughs on “everybody is special.”) Anyone else look at that panther and think of Manimal?


I know it’s been a month, but if I can remember correctly, the girl’s inbred boyfriend shot her dad and she ran off with him to keep everyone safe - and told Jason that now he has to take care of them. Does this mean he’s now in charge of a bunch of panthers? Is he basically going to be a cat lady in season four?


Are you kidding me?


Jason had such a great story in the first and second season - and then this year total CRAP.


The Wolves Were A Waste



When did “vampires lead to werewolves” become so commonplace? I remember Oz was on Buffy, then there were the Underworld movies. Then of course there’s Twilight. I assume Vampire Diaries will have werewolves too, unless they already have them - and of course there’s True Blood.


I’m almost not sure exactly what to complain about here, but it just felt as though something was missing. I thought the name of the wolf bar - “Lou Pine’s” was a terribly uncreative play on words - I remember literally rolling my eyes on that one.


I apologize (I do that a lot) for not having a better argument here, I just felt like they weren’t very well flushed out as a “people” and I hope that changes going forward.


Nobody Gives a Crap About Tara



Okay maybe that’s not true, but I certainly don’t give a crap about Tara. Sure, the vampire dude that was infatuated with her was kinda cool - and I did love when she based his brains in - I am just sooo tired of Tara. So tired. So very tired.


I don’t care about Eggs. I don’t care about her mother. I don’t care that she needs to find herself. I am sick of her being broken, crying, fragile. I was losing interest with her last year in her silly storyline, and this year I almost felt like fast forwarding whenever she came on screen.


She is the Lisa Simpson of True Blood - I lose interest when she is the focus of things.


Fairies? Really?



I really wanted to blast this part of the story - but the more I think about it the more I have mixed feelings of it. I guess I like the fact that we find out what Sookie is - and it gives us the whole theory that Bill only became involved with her because he was ordered to so he could find the ability to walk in the sun.


That I liked.


But, the whole dancing around in the fields just felt too weird and silly for me. I can’t really complain more than that. I didn’t hate EVERYTHING about this season, just most of it.


There was one aspect of the show this year that saved it for me and gave it some redeemability (I’m almost certain that’s not a word.)


King of the Vampires



This guy stole every moment of the show this season. I really can’t think of a bad thing to say about the character or the actor who played him. Whether he’s punching through television reporters, carrying his dead lover’s guts in a glass jar, or he’s burnt to a crisp being covered in cement - this guy saved the show this season for me. He made it worth watching as the suave, psychotic, southern gentleman.


I will be back for season 4 - I’m not ready to stop watching this show by a long shot (hell I stayed with Heroes until the end). I really like this show - honestly, which is why I was disappointed with so much of it this year - because I care and I know they can do better.


And I didn’t even spend time complaining about Sam’s dog-fighting white trash family! But let me not forget to mention, I don’t like Sam’s bad side - we need one good/nice guy don’t we??


More Eric. More King (he better be back) - Less “Everyone is Special” and I think season 4 can do better than this disappointing, lackluster effort….

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